Today.

I know I say a lot on this blog, on my instagram, on my Facebook and Twitter that I love my job. That I love being a small business owner and I do. But that doesn't mean there aren't hard days. That doesn't mean it's all easy and wonderful. A lot of the time I feel like we post what we want people to see. The happy side of our lives. Today has not been a happy business owner day for me so far and I'd like to share that side today.

I already didn't feel like going into work today. Luckily, I had an amazing employee who came and opened the store for me so I could come in an hour later. I thoroughly enjoyed that extra hour of sleep!

As soon as I walk in the door, there's a customer on the phone wanting to speak to me. Those phone calls usually aren't nice. This one was not the exception. This person berated me for about 15 minutes for not carrying only compostable plates. Forget the fact that we actually do carry compostable plates, just not all our plates are compostable. Forget the fact that licensed plates (like Frozen or Despicable Me) are not made that way. Forget the fact that I am not the manufacturer and I have NO control over how the plates are made. No it is ALL my fault that these plates are not compostable and we are killing Mother Earth. For 15 minutes (which seemed like a lifetime) I had to sit and listen to this person tell me it is all my fault. I had to listen to my store (my baby) be insulted. All the hours I have spent here, setting new sections, all the time I spend at home bringing in new items, making my store the best I can all seemed wasted as I listened to this person. I was near tears by the time I was able to get off the phone. I felt my depression overcoming me. I started to feel worthless, to feel like nothing I ever did was good enough (depression sucks). I called my husband who listened to me and tried to calm me down. I repeated my favorite quote over and over to myself "it's just a bad moment, not a bad life". For the last 30 or so minutes, I have let this ONE person ruin my day so far. And I finally said ENOUGH. One person's thoughts do not define me. They do not define my store. They do not define everything I've put into this over the last TWO years. Don't let ONE person ruin your day today. Don't let ONE persons opinions ruin something you're passionate about, something you love, something you've put your heart and soul into.

Everyday is not easy and happy. Some days are HARD. Working in retail is HARD. Running a business is HARD. Struggling with depression is HARD. Struggling with infertility is HARD. But every day I wake up is a new day. I don't know what that day will bring but I know that I will NOT let ONE person's opinions ruin my day. A day can start over at any point. I choose to start my day over NOW. Today (even though it's 10:30am) will be a happy day for me and I hope it is for you too!

xoxo,
nikki

A Smorgasbord of Information

It has been too long so this post will be full of information!

First off, I would like to say that my heart aches for the people of France. My prayers and thoughts are with them.

This last month has been CRAZY! The weekend before Halloween I had what I thought was a stomach bug. However, by Monday I still was not feeling any better or keeping anything down so I went to see a doctor who believed I had a stomach bug called gastritis. She gave me Zofran for the nausea and told me I should feel better. After another week and a half, I still was not keeping very much down and I had lost 13lbs!! (That was the silver lining of all of this!) I made an appointment with my actual doctor and after having a bunch of blood tests and an x-ray, he thought I had gastritis. He gave me a pill that reduces stomach acid which I take twice a day and a pill that lines my stomach, which I take four times a day. The pain in my stomach is better and I am keeping more food down but I am not 100% better yet. I am definitely glad to be feeling somewhat better!!

Halloween is busy for us at the store, it is one of our busiest weeks of the year. Unfortunately, we had an employee quit that week and I have been working 6 days a week at the store since. But back to Halloween, it was an amazing week! We were up compared to last year, which is what you always want! We made a lot of notes for what we need to carry next year. We ran out of black and white makeup, even though we ordered a ton!!

 So the manager situation was frustrating to say the least. Being a small business owner, there are so many situations you have to deal with!! But this was just another situation that showed me that God is looking out. The week of Halloween, we had a manager quit. At the time I was angry (and that's putting it nicely), imagine having someone leave you during your busiest season of the year! But that same day I put out an ad for another manager and the girl who applied was just..amazing. By the end of the interview, I was thanking God and that person who quit for quitting because if she hadn't, we never would have put an ad out and found this person! The only downside was that she couldn't start until next week, so I am working 6 days a week until then. Not that I mind that at all. Even though it is a lot of hours and I do complain a bit (mostly because I am still sick and not keeping that much down), I really really really do enjoy working. I always have. I love getting out of the house and having interaction with other people.

Although I have been terribly sick and not feeling well, I am so grateful for the weight loss! I went from 151lbs to 136lbs in just three weeks! I feel so much better having lost so much weight. I am a huge advocate of being whatever weight makes you happy and I am so much happier at this weight than I was before! I was able to go shopping and get almost a whole new wardrobe!

Alright, well this blog seems like it is long enough now. I have a couple posts in my head that I am hoping to get around to writing soon! I wanted to write one of those today but I felt like a post was needed of what I have been up to since the last post!

xoxo
nikki

Enjoy THIS Season

Hello!

Last week was just awful for me (us). We had so many employees call out it was just incredible. It was seriously like everything was against us last week. We had to work everyday due to call outs (still not complaining, I love my job!). It was crazy! Employees who NEVER call out, were calling out due to things outside of their control. And then after working all week, Saturday I came down with the WORST stomach bug. I could not keep anything down and ended up at the doctors on Monday (I try to avoid the doctor due to all the fertility appts I've been too, I ended up not really liking the doctors office) so if I'm telling my hubby I need to go to the doctor, its serious! I am feeling much, much better now but still not 100%. Anyways, we are super glad to be out of last week and into a better week!

Fall is here (and leaving quickly), I love Fall but it always seems to come and go so quickly! I love the 60-70 degree weather. I love that it is cool enough for long pants and a jacket, but not so cold that I have to wear a bulky winter coat! 

Anyways, Fall is not the season I'm talking about enjoying, I'm talking about the seasons of life!
Being sick this last week, I have had A LOT of time to think. I am so quick to disregard the season of life I'm in, waiting for the next season, hoping that it will be better and I so quickly forget to enjoy the beauty of the season I'm in. I have ALWAYS done this. This last week I was thinking about when we lived in Florida. I miss that season of life. I miss being newlywed. I miss thinking that getting pregnant would be so so easy. I miss that naive person I was FIVE years ago. And that got me started thinking about now. About how I don't appreciate what I have right NOW. I'm always looking forward. Thinking about how good life will be when this happens, or that happens. When we lived in Florida, I did not enjoy that season of life. I was so ready to jump ahead to the next season, to have kids, to "start" my life. When we moved to Alabama, it was the same, I didn't enjoy what I had, I wanted to have kids, I wanted to get to that season of life. I didn't enjoy my house, my life, what I had. Anyone else like this? I am always imagining that the future will be better and I want to get there NOW. I have decided that my new goal is to enjoy the season of life I am in now, whatever that may be. There are wonderful things going on around me, things I am missing out on because I am so focused on the future. Now I'm NOT saying don't think or plan for the future but don't let the future become your obsession. Let's enjoy THIS season of life!

I want this quote to become my new mantra!

And this quote, just because God is ALWAYS there. Even if we don't see Him, or don't want to see Him, He is always there. 

xo
nikki

God's Plan

These two quotes sum up my life lately. Even when I'm not at work, or in my home office, I am ALWAYS thinking about work. What to order, where to order it from, making sure the store looks good, switching register systems, doing inventory, and on and on and on. Starting/owning/running any kind of business is NOT a get rich quick scheme. It is hard, hard work and takes lots, lots, lots of time. That being said, I still love everything I do, just that I don't have as much time as I think I do!

I have been trying to sit down and write this post for at least two weeks now. I have been wanting to write about God's plan and God's timing. We live in a society where we want things NOW. We may not be patient, or we may not trust that God has a plan. Sometimes it is REALLY hard to trust that He knows when we need things. Quite often when we are in the middle of a rough time, we cannot see that God has a plan. But after we make it through, we can see exactly how God was guiding us.

In 2012, we went to a fertility specialist for the first time. The news just went downhill from there. Bad news after bad news. My depression came back. I was living in a house with no a/c, no heat, no stove, and no hot water. I was in a neighborhood where I couldn't really walk around outside. And now I was told I had a slim to none chance of conceiving naturally. There were days, weeks, months where I didn't get out of bed. I rarely changed out of pajamas. And I would spend hours during the day praying and begging God to give me a child. I would pray and pray and pray for him to give me what I wanted. And then we were blessed. Blessed to be able to move out of that house and into a new city, new neighborhood, new house with all those crazy amenities (heat, a/c, stove, AND hot water!!) And after we moved, I could see why God hadn't given me what I wanted, how crazy I was to try to bring a baby into that house! God knew what he was doing. But I still didn't want to trust. I now spent even more time trying to convince God to give me a baby. I was living in a nice house now, in a nice neighborhood, I should have a baby now! But God still had more in plan for me. Shortly before we were blessed to move to Colorado, I decided to change my prayers. Instead of praying that God would give me what I thought I wanted, I started praying for the strength to follow whatever God's will and plan was. Everyday when I woke up, and throughout the day, I would pray for strength, strength to trust in God and to follow whatever his will was. Not long after changing my mentality and my prayers, we were blessed to move to Colorado, to be closer to family, and given the opportunity to start our own business.  I realized that God's plan was SO SO SO much better than mine. I began to realize that if I was meant to have a child, God would provide a miracle. And if I wasn't meant to have a child, then that was God's plan. I know that I can be happy either way, whether we have a child or we don't, I have already been blessed beyond measure.

It is hard when we are going through trials to see God's plan. It is hard to see His hand guiding our lives. It is REALLY hard to have faith when we are going through these trials. But God does know what he is doing! He does have a plan and he has PERFECT timing. We just have to have faith in Him and be willing to follow His plan and let Him guide our lives.

xoxo
nikki

What I've Been Up To

Work Life:

Sometimes the universe aligns and both of your managers need the SAME Friday off! In almost two years, this has NEVER happened! But we make it work! Hubby opened (actually he ended up being there all day because we were CRAZY busy) and I closed!

Ready for work:

And then once you get to work you have to make two of these guys:

They turned out so cute though!

And during the week, we've been heading to the store to organize the back room:

Ah, the fun life of owning a business!! After this is done we get to do our own inventory!! Along with the constant ordering for everyday business and planning for future holidays! I love my job, I love everything I get to do even if it means working til 7 one night and being back at work at 6 the next morning!

Craft Life:

We have been so busy setting for Halloween, reorganizing the backroom, and just all the everyday stuff of running a business that I haven't had too much time for crafting but I have been able to check off two crafts on my list.

I made this adorable sign for our front door! Fabric-wrapped board, then another board glued on top and vinyl letters! Super easy actually! And I ordered the fabric from fabric.com and I am hooked! No more standing in line at Jo-Ann's waiting for fabric to be cut? Sign me up!

I just made this one earlier today:

Board and hooks from Home Depot and vinyl letters = towel racks! Can't wait to hang these guys up in the bathroom and take down that awful towel rack!

And of course, Exercise Life:

Mostly just trying to run on this guy every day:

I love having him in the basement!! (He was all I wanted for my birthday!) I also have an exercise bike down there. I usually run/walk one mile on the treadmill and then do 1-2 miles on the bike depending on how I feel and how much time I have. I skipped Friday because of work and I usually don't workout on Saturdays (because we work) and Sundays I rest. I have another post planned for my running routine so I won't spoil anything here!

Well that's what I've been doing lately!

thanks for stopping by!
xo nikki

My First Post

Hi! Welcome! I'm Nikki and this is my journey through weight loss as well as stories from my life. My husband and I run a party store in Boulder, we have a fur-baby, and I love doing crafts!

This blog is going to be full disclosure. I want to put my journey out there in the hopes that I can inspire just one person (and if it's more than one, yay!). So let's get started.

Here's me in 2010. I was always a skinny, skinny girl. I weighed 105lbs through high school and around 110lbs when I married my husband in 2010.

I LOVED being skinny. I loved my body, I loved how I looked. Then my husband and I decided to try to start a family. But we couldn't. We tried fertility treatments, during the first one I gained 20lbs, now I weighed 130lbs. But the treatment failed. So we tried again. This time I gained 30lbs in ONE WEEK. I was now 160lbs. This was in 2013. It was depressing, to say the least.

This is me now:

 

Currently I weigh 151 lbs. And my stomach measures 38inches. I am a size 8. My goal weight is 115lbs or a size 3.

I do realize that there will be some hate against me. I know that there are people who will say that I am skinny. That they wish they were my weight. I believe that it is all about how you feel. If you weigh more than me and are happy, then I am happy for you. If you weigh less than me and want to lose more weight, I hope this blog inspires you. Whatever weight you are, if you are happy, then you are the perfect weight (as long as your weight isn't causing you health problems). For me, I am not happy in this body. I do not want to weigh 151 lbs. I want to be skinnier and healthier.

I hope you follow me in this crazy journey!

Instagram: https://instagram.com/nikkidoesitall/
@nikkidoesitall
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nikkidoesitall
@nikkidoesitall
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/nikkidoesitall/

thanks for following me!
xo nikki