Yesterday

Yesterday was HARD.  It's funny because I thought doing all the paperwork, interviews, training and waiting to be picked was all going to be the hardest part. Really, ever since we were chosen and met and bonded with the boys but didn't get to bring them home has been the hardest part. (Did any of that even make sense?)

But, yesterday. Yesterday was D's birthday. And we couldn't celebrate it with him in person. Honestly, it's just hard to be missing these things. We've already missed his other birthdays so to miss one more shouldn't be a big deal but it just was. We knew about this birthday. (We also knew that it was unlikely we would get to spend it with him). But just the fact that we knew it was his birthday and we couldn't celebrate it with him in person was awful.

Thank God for FaceTime! We were able to FaceTime with him last night and watch him open the gift we had sent him. We sent L something too, which he was really excited about! I remember being a kid and my grandma would always bring me a gift (something small) when it was my brothers' birthdays so I wouldn't feel left out so we made sure to send L something so he wouldn't feel left out and he was so excited, it was adorable! The FaceTime made me feel a little better because at least we were able to see him on his birthday. (How people adopted before FaceTime I have no clue! I would be so depressed all the time if I couldn't see/talk to my boys at least once a week).

I hate not being with them. But their foster parents! Oh, they are so wonderful! The more we get to know them, the more I realize how blessed we are that they were chosen as the temporary home. They go out of their way to make sure we are involved. There are so, so many blessings in this adoption.

I realized wayyy back at the very start of the whole process that this was going to be a lesson in patience and oh boy is it! If only things worked on my time frame, the boys would have been here 3 months ago!! But it's not my time frame, it's God's and He knows what He's doing.

Yesterday was a hard day. There have been a lot of those and I think there will be more. But there have also been beautiful, wonderful days and I know there will be a lot more of those to come.

xoxo
nikki